You Can’t Take Clients Where You Haven’t Been

Post #11: Soul Change Series

Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.  — 1 Timothy 4:16

Soul Change begins in the therapist. We are not mechanics fixing broken machines. We are fellow pilgrims, shaped as we walk. —Soul Change Model

Christian counselors are often generous, faithful, and eager to help others heal. But in the rush to care for clients, it’s easy to overlook one vital truth:

You cannot take others where you haven’t gone yourself.

In the Soul Change Model, therapist formation is not optional—it’s foundational. The depth of healing a therapist can facilitate is directly tied to the depth of their own formation. Not because therapists are the savior, but because presence matters. And presence flows from formation.

Therapists Are the First Soul Change Clients

The Soul Change Model begins with the therapist’s soul.

Before we talk about interventions or treatment plans, we ask:

• Are you being shaped by the truth you share?

  
  

• Are you grounded in your identity in Christ—or performing from insecurity?

  
  

• Are you letting the Spirit refine you, gently expose your defenses, and meet you in your wounds?

Diane Langberg (2015) writes, “The work we do is sacred. But it must flow from souls that are being shaped by the very truths we proclaim.”

Christian therapists are not immune to fear, avoidance, shame, or burnout. We, too, need the grace and truth we offer our clients. When we are honest about that, and actively growing ourselves, we become living witnesses of transformation, not just conveyors of information.

Formation Over Performance

Many therapists—especially in Christian spaces—feel pressure to “have it all together.” To be spiritually mature, clinically sharp, and emotionally stable at all times.

But that pressure creates disconnection. It leads to performance, not presence.

The Soul Change Model invites therapists to shift from performance to formation. That means:

• Slowing down to notice your own emotional patterns

  
  

• Naming your spiritual struggles without shame

  
  

• Bringing your soul before God regularly—not just your skillset

  
  

• Seeking supervision and soul care, not just clinical CEUs

  
  

• Letting the Holy Spirit form your character, not just your competence

Dallas Willard (2002) said it this way: “The most important thing in your life is not what you do. It’s who you become.” Soul Change therapists take this seriously.

Therapist as Embodied Presence

One of the most powerful tools in therapy is the therapist’s presence. When a client sits with someone who is:

• Grounded in grace

  
  

• Emotionally regulated

  
  

• Spiritually aware

  
  

• Honest and humble

  
  

• Rooted in hope

They experience something formational, not just informational.

It doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It means you’ve been where they are—or are walking through your own valleys with authenticity and openness to God.

Clients can sense when a therapist is leading from the head alone. But they are drawn to those who lead from the heart—hearts softened by God’s love, stabilized by His truth, and refined by experience.

Ongoing Soul Work for Therapists

Therapists who align with the Soul Change Model commit to their own ongoing growth.

That might include:

• Personal counseling or spiritual direction

  
  

• Daily practices of prayer, Scripture, and stillness

  
  

• Retreats for reflection and renewal

  
  

• Community with other Christian professionals who support soul care

  
  

• Honest evaluation of how their own stories impact their work

This is not self-indulgent. It is essential stewardship. As McMinn (1996) notes, “The therapist’s spiritual health is a key factor in the effectiveness of Christian counseling.”

You can’t pour living water from a dry well.

Modeling the Journey, Not the Destination

Clients don’t need therapists who are finished. They need therapists who are faithful.

The Soul Change Model encourages therapists to be honest about their own journey—not inappropriately self-disclosing, but gently modeling what it means to walk with God through pain, doubt, and change.

This might look like:

• Gently normalizing grief or fear based on your own awareness

  
  

• Sharing encouragement that arises from your own spiritual wrestling

  
  

• Holding hope when the client cannot—because you’ve known what it is to be carried by God

  
  

• Recognizing when your own story is being stirred, and tending to it with humility

Therapists formed in this way can hold space that is safe, wise, and Spirit-attuned. They are guides, not gurus. Companions, not saviors. Witnesses, not fixers.

Spiritual Authority Comes Through Formation

There’s a kind of spiritual authority that doesn’t come from degrees, certifications, or theological vocabulary. It comes from the quiet depth of a soul that has been with God.

You’ve probably experienced it:

• Someone prays and the room settles.

• Someone speaks and the truth cuts through.

• Someone listens and you feel profoundly seen.

That’s not charisma. That’s Spirit-formed presence.

The Soul Change Model seeks to cultivate that kind of therapist—anchored in Christ, formed by grace, and present in love. Because that kind of presence changes lives.

Reflection

• What is the current state of your own soul as a therapist?

  
  

• Are you practicing what you invite clients into—or running on empty?

  
  

• Where is the Holy Spirit gently inviting you into deeper healing, rest, or growth?

References

Langberg, D. (2015). Suffering and the heart of God: How trauma destroys and Christ

restores. New Growth Press.

McMinn, M. R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Tyndale

House.

Willard, D. (2002). Renovation of the heart: Putting on the character of Christ. NavPress.

Next in the Soul Change Model Series: Walking With the Spirit, Not Just Following A Model

Previously in the Soul Change Model Series: Counseling at the Intersection of Faith and Justice